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Damn All These Beautiful Girls |
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| Damn all these beautiful girls, they'll have you suicidal, suicidal...No matter how old I get, no matter how much weight I lose, how well I keep my hair and nails done, no matter how clear my skin and well toned my legs, no matter how many men tell me I'm pretty and ask me out...There will always be a part of me that feels fat, awkward and ugly.?Although I know in my head that I am "beautiful" the reality of that?just can't seem to take root in my heart, and true Beauty will always be something that belongs to other women.?It's extra crazy because I was fortunate have grow up with a loving father in the home who always made a point of telling his daughters how beautiful and special we were.?Yet somehow still I struggle with this.Whenever I meet another woman I immediately go into comparison mode.?I think, "She's looks good... is she prettier than me?...?nah, her?nose is too?big for her face... but those shoes are really?cute...I?don't think?that's all her real hair...?my breasts are bigger, but I think her?ass is rounder than mine... or it might just be those pants... still she has nice eyes...I wonder how old she is, she looks like she might be older than me..."?I think this is probably a very common neurotic tendency of women in the world.?No wonder it's so hard for women to form real friendships!?There is a woman at my job who moved to our area about 6 months ago from another state.? |
| There is a woman at my job who moved to our area about 6 months ago from another state.?Young, pretty girl, slim?figure, cute face, sharp wardrobe.?We had a happy hour?a couple weeks ago?and after a few drinks she confessed to being very lonely due to her inability to make any friendships with women.?Shame on us.We see another attractive women enter "our territory" and immediately circle the wagons.?To make matters worse,?she has managed to make friends with?men, which causes the women to shun her even more.?Sad commentary ladies.?We can be so bitchy sometimes, treating each other as enemies when the truth is we NEED each other.?Whenever I surf the internet, open a magazine or turn on the TV I'm immediately hit with feelings of severe inadequecy.??I very much want to be in a serious relationship but it seems like there are so many factors battling against that ever becoming a reality.?First, it's difficult to feel confident in a society that is constantly trying to convince?me that?I weigh too much,?my clothes aren't good enough,?my car isn't?fancy enough,?and my?cell phone doesn't have enough features...I finally got a computer in my house and now I need to have one on my phone too??Geez! |
| Geez!Where was I??Right, relationships.?I think both sexes are set up.?Men and women are constantly bombarded with unrealistic expectations that neither can live up to.?There are men who really only want to date women who look like video vixens and Victoria's Secret models; As?a result too many women (myself included) feel the need to look like a video vixens?or a?Victoria's Secret model.?And with every bulge, stretch mark and extra ounce of fat I'm left feel less and less desirable.?I've heard in Hollywood there is an expression, something like "you can never be too rich or too thin."?And although I know in my head that is absolutely ridiculous, sadly, my heart just can't grasp it.?Which leaves me wondering, if I'm?ever able to afford that complete, perfect wardrobe and finally get down to my "ideal" weight, then, will I feel beautiful??Will there always be that gap between what I KNOW to be true and how I FEEL in the depths of me?
There's more to say on this topic, but right now I need to sleep.?Thoughts???? |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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