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Day 00: What is all this 30 Days nonsense???
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Liquidweb
| Imagine if someone told you that you could change your life in 30 days...Wouldn't that be totally exciting?I'd sure jump right out of my they're-cute-but-I-got-'em-at-Payless shoes at a chance like that!I mean, it's not that I hate hate my life.Just because I spend the whole of my walk to work everyday wanting to throw myself in front of a SEPTA bus doesn't mean...Yeah, I guess is does.The truth is, I just can't take another day of it and I'm tired of being one of those people who just sits around and bitches about their current state of affairs without any action towards changing things.Honestly, I've always hated those kinds of people.You know what I mean...The ones you never want to ask a friendly "How ya' doin?" because you just know you're in for a 20 minute monologue about how miserable everything is. You're standing there waiting for them to see the silver lining but all you get is more Wah!Wah!Wah!Tell it to Dr Phil, Sweetheart.I was just trying to be polite.Damn.Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but you know what I'm talking about.So I'm gonna try something new.Call it a life-experiment.Call it an exercise in insanity.Call it Emma finally went over the cuckoo's nest if you want.But pay very close attention because we may learn something together along the way.I'm giving myself 30 Days to turn it all around.Stop looking at me like that!I'm fucking serious!!!As I'm sitting here typing this blog there's a girl outside my window.There's a lot of bars around here so this time of night usually means drunks wandering around in search of a cab or someplace to eat...Or their date.At least twice a week someone seems to "misplace" their companion...Uh-Huh...Misplaced...Hey, where's Ashley?Right now there's this girl outside and she's crying and sobbing into a cell phone.Normally I roll my eyes and chuckle at these chicks.Tonight I sorta feel for the girl. |
| Tonight I sorta feel for the girl.This is a chick who, if only for the moment, has lost control of her life.Me..I've always operated on grander scales of self destruction...I'm in there somewhere drunk as a skunk and high as a kite I'm sure...Oh no, I don't just fuck shit up for myself for a day or just one bad night.If I'm gonna be bad, I'm gonna be the Holy-Shit worst you've ever seen.Granted, staring into the abyss and telling it to kiss my ass has made for some fun stories to tell...But it hasn't gotten me anywhere in life.Perhaps this is the sound of me finally growing the fuck up.....?Well, in keeping with my need to be the constant center of attention (I'll never grow out of that!)I've decided to grow the fuck up and take back my life in front of as many people as will listen.Everyday I'm gonna post a blog about how my progress is moving along and what kind of silly fun adventures I got into while trying this (Because I can't go three blocks from my apartment without something stupid happening to me. I think I was born under a sarcastic moon or something...)But wait...There's more.In all seriousness, this is about taking my life back.I make fun and joke and criticize, but I know that my current state is due to losing control.First I lost it when I allowed myself to stay in a horrible abusive relationship that I rarely if ever talk about because I'm just not ready to rehash all the awful details to myself or anyone else.Then I lost it when I finally got out of that horrible relationship and went crazy as Philly's reckless and second or third most self-destructive party girls.(I ran into some chicks along the way that were like: Damn!I thought I was bad, but this bitch is fucking craaayzeeee!)Then I tried to wrangle myself in, but had no idea what to do with myself.So I settled for a sub-par job and nearly gave into the thought that this was the rest of my life.Now I'm ready for my comeback.I really kinda do need you guys though.Aside from my mother, I don't have a lot of people who think I can actually pull this off.I know me. If I don't have anyone to disappoint I'll just lay in bed all day and convince myself that maybe things ain't really so bad.So humor me. At least pretend like you care and maybe I'll keep pushing myself forward so as to not look like a total jackass in front of a bunch of people.Contrary to the state I'm in when exiting a club, I hate looking like a jackass in front of a lot of people.So there you go.I've got a few other things I'm working on along with this...But that's the bare bones of my story.Honestly, I'm excited about this.I mean, to think everything that makes me miserable now will be gone in a month's time.Wow...I mean...Wow.That's something to look forward to.Well, it's getting late and I have a lot of work to start doing tomorrow.So provided my shitty connection allows me to post this blog I'm going to bed.Hope to see you along the way. |
| So provided my shitty connection allows me to post this blog I'm going to bed.Hope to see you along the way. |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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