Cirtex
| I have never claimed to be perfect.?I'm not.?But I always saw myself as a decent sort of guy.?I've almost broken arms patting myself on the back on more than one occassion.?A bit of hyperbole, but the sentiment is true.??Tell the truth, don't be a user of others, value other people while respecting yourself.?These sound great.?The keys to the universe of goodwill and kindness right??I am well aware of my value as a man.?I am marginally?different than some of the other assholes out there, but does that make me better??Not if I am still causing pain...??
In the last two weeks I have been utterly ruthless on two separate occassions.?Not attacking per se, but I got on my high horse and ran roughshod over people that didn't deserve it.?Why??Because I'm an asshole and because I could.? |
| Because I'm an asshole and because I could.?And what do you do when you realize you have been an asshole??You own up to it of course.?You apologize and try to rectify the situation.?But does that really take back the hurt that was?felt??Does it dry the handkerchief that wiped away those tears??It doesn't.?The I'm sorrys don't make the person hurt feel any better, and it doesn't do anything for me either.?But it becomes my mantra, almost a gregorian chant, for as long as I can sustain it and it still doesn't do a damn bit of good other than to remind me to be more careful in the future.I'm not all knowing, I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground half the time, but I feel just awful right now.?I felt awful two weeks ago when I slammed someone's emotions in a car door.?I'm sure I'll trash someone else's feelings at some point in the future and feel just as bad then.?Sometimes I just don't like myself.?And saying I'm sorry just doesn't fix it. |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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